Stuff Archives

“A view or outlook” normally associated with something of beauty or worth looking at. Bought a new computer at the weekend for Karen as I seem to be taking up the others so she needed something to use. It came with Windows Vista on it. Turned the computer on and it spent several hours unpacking itself (metaphorically speaking as I mean unpacking of files, not unpacking itself from the box - that would be pretty cool if it did that) then it spent the next two days patching itself which resulted in it not being able to run the pre-packages software that came with it.

Seriously! Now when you boot the computer it tells you that it has compatibility issues with the webroot (anti-spyware) software that came with it. There's a button to click to fix - click it and it goes off to the internet, spends a couple of minutes searching, then tells you it can't fix it but you'll be notified when a fix is available. In the meantime contact the application vendor. You go to webroot's website and it tells you that the Windows Vista upgrades are causing problems with their software but they are “aggressively” working with Microsoft to fix the issue and as a workaround, you should consider uninstalling the Vista upgrades.

And that's progress!!

(Yes, I know all you Mac fans are laughing, but you really don't know what you're missing. Where's the fun in having a product that works as you expect it to?)

After doing some general housekeeping to tidy up some bits and pieces that I've been meaning to do for a while, I got to thinking about changing the intro to the site. It used to start by quoting the opening line from the WASP song Electric Circus - welcome, I bid you welcome, to life inside the electric circus - and I thought probably about time for a change. So I moved the intro text off the home page and created a page that gave an overview of the genesis of this site.

Whilst doing it, I got to thinking “what do I want to get out of this?” so I wrote a business plan to define my long term strategic objectives. It took me a long while to put this together, factoring in global economic conditions (strength of dollar, price of oil etc.), looking at my career plans and growth opportunities on my current career path, performing a SWOT analysis layered onto PEST analysis multiplied by Porter's Five Forces. Finally, considering Maslow's hierarchy of needs to establish my desired end state and help determine what I would need to climb to that level of the pyramid.

Anyway, the business plan is linked from the genesis page, but to save you from searching, you can access it from the link below:

EBR Business Plan

2008 certainly seems to be the year of the tit so far. As many of you avid readers may know, I've developed an interest in photography. You may not, however, be aware that my folks put nuts out in their garden for the local birds. What that means is that this Christmas holiday presented itself with the opportunity to take a few photos of the birds in my parents garden. And, as the title suggests, the most common was the tit. First off, there's the common pair of tits (Great and Blue). These are your bankers, those that you can gaurantee to see on any day. “The pair that keeps popping out.”

Now, ordinarily, most people would leave it at that. And I have to admit, at first, that's all I thought was there. Now I think the problem is that typically you get into the “can't see the tits for the bush” syndrome. Basically, getting caught by the other features and not staying focused on the tits. But if you look carefully, there's always another pair lurking in the background. In this case the Coal and Long-Tailed Tits as shown below.

Well, there you have it ..... “ddddrrrrrrr” ..... What was that? ..... “ddddrrrrrrr” ..... There it goes again. Surely it can't be? But yes, it's obvious really. With all these tits about, there was sure to be a large woody somewhere wasn't there. And in this case a pair of Greater Spotted Woodpeckers. Woody's pictured with their nuts below.

I was watching “How William Shatner Changed the World” the other day. Hold on a minute, did I just say that out loud. Ooops! Looks like I did and what's worse, I seem to have written it down. Still, I suppose most people know I'm a geek by now, but if there was any doubt left in your mind, I think I've just killed it.

Anyway, the program was talking about things like the flip phones in use today being designed by Star Trek fans, then moving onto things like whether or not the warp drive concept would be possible (which, apparently some people think it could be). Finally it got onto the transporter system which unfortunately isn't going to be possible given the amoung of energy it would require to work - clearly they haven't seen &ldquoThe Fly” - and the person talking on this section commented on the fact that it would be very desireable as he did a lot of flying and really didn't like it.

I too feel that I'm in the same position. I know all the statistics are there around safety, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I think it's the not being in control bit that bothers me. On my flight over here, we encountered some turbulence whilst flying over the States that made me really want someone to press ahead with the invention of the transporter.

One other random fact, we arrived in the UK too early as we had favorable tail winds. Too early as Heathrow doesn't open until 6:00 am. Odd as I thought it was a 24 hour airport, but apparently not!

Yet again, Mr O met up with Karen and myself to do the local bumpkin quiz. This time, however, it was the big annual Cricket Club quiz which we've never won before. There were about 20 teams that entered the quiz and we came out victorious even though we were one of the few teams that only had three members.

Well, according to everybody else in the pub we may as well have only had one member - Mr O. After we won (on a tie break question as we had drawn with one of the other teams) everybody came over and congratulated Mr O on his win. Nobody gave Karen or myself any credit for our involvement in this (supposed) team victory.

As I felt the need to point out later, it was very much a team effort. Mr O did actually get the answers to all the questions, which probably warrants most of the credit, however, Karen wrote all the answers on the answer sheet and I sat there making fart noises to put off the other teams.

My Christmas present this year was a "Dr Fart." Said items is a keyring thing with six buttons on it that you can press to emit different sounds of flatulence. I've been kept continuously amused with it for two days now, so it was money well spent. The only complaint I have is that it's not loud enough. What that meant is that I needed to time the trumping noises with when it was quiet. Sort of going for the "OK, Question one [slight pause] thbbrrrtttt" Anyway, you get the picture (talking of which, there's a picture below of my wonderful present) and I don't feel that my skill or contribution to the team effort was truly recognized, so I'm going to take the opportunity here to congratulate myself!

In the words of Noddy Holder “so here it is ...” and I'd like to add “so bloody well shut up and enjoy it!” Time to eat turkey, drink beer and have fun!

I was trying to think of an apt meaning for MUNI, but I couldn't quite finish it off. Well, I'll say I gave it all of five minutes and got bored so thought I'd just get on and write the article anyway.

So, we had the British American Christmas Lunch this week. A jolly good affair and a decent piss up even if I say so myself. Being the safe accountant type person that I am, I left the car at home and decided to get public transport so I could have a few beers. It seems that every time I do this I run into some sort of problem or another.

It was an awful day, so it was bad enough walking to the MUNI stop, but I didn't realize how bad until I heard this massive crack and when I looked back saw half of a tree that I'd just walked under come crashing down where I'd been walking. OK, could have been worse. Best get a drink to calm the nerves :)

Onto the train to get said drink and we must of managed ... oh ... at least three blocks before we had to stop because the train in front had broken down. What happened next was really weird. They decided to hook up our train with the train in front and drive it as a four carriage instead of two carriage. Makes sense, but they didn't let us off before they decided to hook up the trains. Then, after about 20 minutes of connecting, we got going and the train just went straight up 20 blocks or so without stopping. Now, didn't bother me as I was heading into town, but there were quite a few people jumping up and trying to get the driver to stop by pulling the bell. The driver of our train had already told us that he was no longer in control of the vehicle (it was being run from the front) and the fact that some people were continuing to pull on the stop cord seemed to enrage one of the other passengers. I was hopeful of a fight, but it didn't happen. Instead, we carried on a bit further, decoupled, went a few more blocks, broke down again and then had to walk four blocks into West Portal where, fortunately there is a larger selection of trains going into town.

Had a great time at the event and time to go home. Surely the MUNI would be nice to me at least once. Wrong! After waiting for a very long time (I think an hour - it was at least 30 minutes as I started timing it after a while) I gave up waiting for an L train as it didn't seem like one was going to come. It seemed like it was just a lady with a child and myself sitting there waiting as people came in and went out on other trains. Thinking back now, it kind of makes sense as we would be the only two people not wanting to (or capable of) walk far so we were waiting. As noted, eventually I gave up and decided to take the N to Sunset, then get the 29 bus across. All in all it took me over 2 hours to do a journey that should be about 30 minutes.

And a thank you to the owner of the house with the big bush at the junction of the N and 29. After eleventeen beers it was muck needed.

When I got home from the Christmas party last weekend I noticed a film on TV called Mr Skeffington. Not really being in a fit state to watch it then, I decided to watch it tonight. Why, you may ask? Well, Skeffington is the name of the village that I come from (circa 40 houses and 100 people), so I thought I'd take a look at the film to see if I could draw any comparisons. Here's a brief overveiw:

Skeffington has an obsession for Fanny. Skeffington marries Fanny and Trippy gets upset. Trippy goes to Europe and dies in the war. Fanny blames Skeffington and divorces him so Skeffington goes to Europe with their daughter (another Fanny!) Little Fanny, as she becomes known, travels back to the States to see mother Fanny. Mother Fanny realizes she is old and no longer wanted by men and gets upset. Skeffington comes home after he's been tortured by the Nazis resulting in him being blind. Fanny is happy as this means Skeffington can't see how old she is so she takes him back and they live happily ever after (which is not very long as they're both old now).

I'll let you figure out the similarities. In the meantime I'm going to flick through the channels to see if there's anything worth watching yet.

Massive congratulations to Matt and Olivia for getting married last Saturday. Looks like it went really well and the reception looked fantastic. Wishing you all the best from the other side of the Atlantic.

Why is it that people feel the need to have inane conversations on their mobile phones. Some people just can't seem to go five minutes without telling their other half what they're doing and that they love them.

Or to argue about something as appeared to be the case today. This lady was strolling out by where I work and what I got from the conversation was “yeah ... huh ... yeah ... ok ... bye ... yes I love you.” All I can say is that what I was looking at was not a face that was conveying love. Far from it. I don't know what this chap had done, but I'm pretty sure he was going to pay for it when his beloved got home.

And then there's those people that phone up to say that they'll be home in five minutes. Is your other half so predisposed to surprises that they couldn't deal with you just turning up at home after a day at work without being announced?

Well, not me. I called on the way home and my message was as follows - “Am on my way home, have been stuck in traffic. I've got a bit of a turtle's head poking through so I'm coming in hot. Clear out an LZ and make a path to the bog!” Essential information that I felt needed to be conveyed.

Now, I know what you're thinking - “I really didn't need to know that.” Some of you may even be thinking that I've painted a really bad image that you would rather not have had. Possibly thinking that you couldn't think of anything worse. Well, you're nearly right. What you really don't need to know is that now I'm back home, I'm sat comfortably and through the joys of wireless internet have just enough time to post this article!