The following question was presented:
After watching Blood Diamond this weekend and thinking about all the turmoil in the world, I figured it about time that EBR take on the real political issues to try to get to the bottom of what really matters.
All the talk about superpowers vs freedom fighters, we need to find out who would reign supreme.
So, here's this week's question. In a street fight, who would come out on top?
Results:
Cartman was the clear winner with 43% of the votes selected from the following:
- Homer Simpson (14%)
- Family Guy (29%)
- Fred Flintstone (14%)
- Scooby-Doo (0%)
- Cartman (43%)
- Bugs Bunny (0%)
- Winnie the Pooh (0%)
Graphic of Results:
Analysis:
Officer, this is how it went down. I saw the whole thing. I was waling down the hill, minding my own business when I saw Homer come stumbling out of Moe's. Well, he trips over and goes flying into Bugs Bunny.
"What's up Doc?" says the rabbit. "You gonna need a Doc" replies Homer and with that, he nuts the rabbit right in the face. Well, I don't think bugs even saw it. He went down like a lead balloon. He was just laying there all floppy - like his ears, but floppy all over, not moving. And if that weren't bad enough, Homer starts laying in the boot. Starts messing the bunny up real bad.
Thankfully, for Bugs' sake, Family Guy comes out the bar after Homer and tries to stop him. He grabs hold of Homer and starts to wrestle him.
Now, this is where it gets kind of confusing. Before these guys could get anything sorted, I see this bear come running over the street. He's just shouting "Oh My! Oh My!". I think he were trying to help like, but to be honest, I think he's had one too many pots of honey to be of any use. So, Winnie the Pooh's charging over the street to break it up, but when he gets to the other side, he just trips over the curb, goes flying past the action and smashes his face into the wall. I shouldn't laugh, but he took himself out of the game before he got a chance to do anything.
Anyway, this little side show was enough to let Family Guy get the upper hand. He probably would have anyway as Homer looked like he'd been at the Duff all night. Anyway, Family Guy spins him round and flings him against the wall. Unfortunately, he throws Homer right where Pooh was laying. So, Pooh's about to come round and Homer lands on him driving the poor bear's face into the pavement.
As bad as this was, it seemed to be over, but that was just wishful thinking. Before I knew it, Scooby-Doo, Fred Flintstone and Cartman arrived on the scene. Now, as I mentioned earlier, it seemed like Family Guy was trying to stop Homer, but I guess it didn't look this way to these three as they just caught the bit where Family Guy flung Homer to the ground and wiped out Winnie the Pooh.
So, Scooby comes blundering across the road, but Fred's already coming down the hill in his car. Well, officer, it's not my place to say, but I don't think that motor of Flintstone's is street legal. He was watching Family Guy and didn't see Scooby crossing the road I guess. At the last minute he must have seen him as he stuck his feet down, but lets face it, you need more than your feet to stop a car. Scooby-Doo? Scooby-Don't more like. Splat! Fred's only gone and run him over and put the dog out of his misery. Flattened him like a pancake it did.
"You will respect my authority" is ringing out whilst all this is going on as Cartman tries to get hold of the situation. Again, wishful thinking, but I really thought Cartman was going to bring a stop to this, but he just made it worse. I tell you, that kid knows how to handle himself
"Yabba-Dabba-Doo" shouts Fred. "Yabba-Dabba-This" shouts Cartman and kicks Flintstone in the balls. Flintstone drops to his knees gasping for air. Family Guy comes over, Cartman takes one look at him and kicks him in the nuts as well. He drops to his knees opposite Flintstone. Cartman comes up behind them, grabs each behind the head and drives them together. Both Family Guy and Fred Flintstone are done. Both of their noses cave in and spray blood everywhere.
Officer, I'm not joking, it was the worst street fight I ever saw, but you got to give it to that Cartman cus he definitely came out on top.