Displaying Vote Archives 330 to 340
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(Created on 30th November 2013)
Vote #331
Question:
They grow up so quickly! Just before leaving to go to Disney, William imparted some super critical knowledge to me. What wisdom did William share with me this past week?
Results:
How to please girls was the clear winner with 67% of the votes from the following selection:
- Where to get drugs (0%)
- Which drugs are the best (0%)
- How to find porn on the Internet (17%)
- Where to buy guns (0%)
- How to kill someone with you bare hands (0%)
- How to please girls (67%)
- How to gamble (17%)
Analysis:
Interesting, the votes seem to have centered on “how to please girls”. Not sure if that's because you think that's the answer or you think that's the advice I need. It's wrong, whatever the reason it was the most popular answer. The correct answer was how to find porn on the Internet. How wonderful the Internet is to make such things available to the innocent so freely. What a wonderful school William's in such that he learnt this from someone in the year below him as they had been shown by their dad. Oddly a pastime I've not started with William. At least not yet, anyway.
(Created on 8th December 2013)
Vote #332
Question:
Well, the weather has turned colder and strange flashing lights have started to appear on houses across the world. It must be time for some sort of festive thing or other. And yet again, there seems to be commentary on whether or not it should be called Christmas or just the holidays. I'm not sure I've really understood the whole thing, but that's not really surprising. Anyway, how will you say your seasons greetings?
Results:
Bar Humbug was the clear winner with 80% of the votes from the following selection:
- Happy Christmas (20%)
- Happy Holidays (0%)
- Bar Humbug (80%)
Analysis:
Wow, what a bloody miserable lot you are! I was the one that went with Merry Christmas and I thought I was the downer of the group. Well, bar humbug to the lot of ya!
(Created on 15th December 2013)
Vote #333
Question:
Unfortunately I find myself being poorly again. Yet again it's those wondrous stomach problems. I've spent two weeks talking to the doctor and listening to them tell me they know what it is. Sooner or later they're going to run out of things that it could be so they're bound to get it right eventually. I'm half expecting to go into the doctor on Monday and hear him say, I think your head's fallen off. Anyway, enough of the gripes and down to the question. Well, as part of the diagnostic process, I had to produce a stool sample (which, to be frank, is not difficult right now). Anyway, the lab gives you a kit, however, I actually read the instructions and they provide you with a variety of ways to collect your stool sample if you are without kit. Which of the following is not a valid way to get a stool sample?
Results:
Stick the nozzle of an Aqua Vac up your arse was the clear winner with 100% of the votes from the following selection:
- A bed pan (0%)
- A plastic bag in a waste paper basket (0%)
- A clean margarine tub (0%)
- A jam jar (0%)
- A milk carton with the top cut off (0%)
- Stick the nozzle of an Aqua Vac up your arse (100%)
Analysis:
Indeed it would not be appropriate to insert the nozzle end of an Aqua Vac up one's rectum and set to deep clean .... or even the long shag setting. All the other methods are appropriate means of collecting a stool sample. Now, several things occur to me here. Probably far to many things as is healthy, but there you go. The first thing is that someone has actually sat down and compiled a list of methods to obtain a piece of shit. How does one advertise for that job? If that's you're job and you're looking for a new one, what do you put on your resume? The mind boggles. When you're at a dinner party and someone asks what you do, do you tell them you specialize in coming up with ways to collect poo samples?
OK, now the next thing that's stuck in my head is the fact that when you have to produce one of these samples ... at least in my case anyway, said sample is not very ... well ... solid. I'm kind of stuck on the idea of putting a plastic bag in a waste paper basket and taking a dump in it. I'm going to be honest, as I'm writing this, I'm cracking up at the thought of someone trying to sit on a waste paper basket. And it's not just the thought of the basket collapsing half way through as much as the thought that plastic bags now have holes in them so that kids can't suffocate. I have an image of someone's stool sample escaping before then can get it into the little jar thing.
The other ideas seem fairly similar in the sense that they're looking for items you would likely have in your kitchen that you could utilize. I guess the only question is whether or not anyone would have these items handy when they are needed. Like you were keeping that old milk carton just in case you needed to cut the top off and take a crap in it.
I guess I should be thankful that Karen left that cup out for me ... strange that she would have left her toothbrush in it. That did come in handy cleaning up after though.
(Created on 21st December 2013)
Vote #334
Question:
As many of you out there know, I've got quite a lot going on. Probably the most pressing is that I need to find somewhere to live which is proving quite a challenge, not because of the lack of properties to look at, but more because I've not been well and am not able to get out of the house long enough to look at somewhere. Anyway, I've at least managed to do quite a lot of research online and that's enabled me to prioritize the properties to go and look at and I managed to get out and look at the top two this past Saturday. Both of them seem perfectly adequate, but I'm having a little difficulty choosing between the two places. Here are the pertinent facts I found out about each property.
Property A - I was shown around by a very attractive girl in a short skirt with nice legs. She wasn't married, but did have a 16 year old kid. She has been told many times that she doesn't look old enough to have a 16 year old child and I really don't doubt that - she was definitely younger than me. She has never been to England, but would really like to go. Her son has been and thought it was fantastic - he's currently in Jamaica with a friend on holiday. She had worked in the semiconductor industry for several years before moving into property management. She had worked for two companies, one of which she worked in the clean room. After seeing the decline in that industry she decided to change and thought that people always need somewhere to live and eat. She's not that great a cook, but does like food, so concluded that working in property would make more sense than working in a restaurant.
Property B - The woman that showed me around was older and more frumpy. I didn't notice if she was married or not.
Which property should I choose?
Results:
Property A - young and beautiful was the clear winner with 100% of the votes from the following selection:
- Property A - young and beautiful (100%)
- Property B - old and frumpy (0%)
Analysis:
A huge voter turn out for the holidays then. But at least a unanimous verdict to go for the pretty one .... Somewhat of a change for me. All I need now is to be well enough to actually be there long enough to sign a contract.
(Created on 29th December 2013)
Vote #335
Question:
Well, it's time to say goodbye to 2013 and get ready to say hello to 2014. New year's resolutions and all that good stuff. I'm rather hoping my bottom behaves itself better in the new year as it's definitely leaving the old one with a bang. I'm also rather hopeful that I can get out of the house as I'm somewhat stuck right now which brings me nicely to this week's vote question. Given how bad my stomach has been, should I fit a toilet to the shag wagon?
Results:
No - just crap out the window was the clear winner with 80% of the votes from the following selection:
- Yes - a toilet would be a valuable addition (20%)
- No - just crap out the window (80%)
Analysis:
Ah ha! The old shit out the window routine then. I wonder if I should slow down or perhaps see if I can set the land speed turd record. Wouldn't be very nice for the pursuit vehicle though. Have to fit it with industrial windscreen wipers I suppose.
(Created on 6th January 2014)
Vote #336
Question:
Get your votes in early this week as it's likely that EastBayRag will be down at the end of the week as the server farm undertakes yet another move. In fact, we may be cutting it close to get it back up and running for next week's vote (not that I remembered this week). So ...... How many professional modeling shoots will I be part of in 2014?
Results:
5 was the clear winner with 71% of the votes from the following selection:
- 0 (0%)
- 1 (14%)
- 2 (14%)
- 3 (0%)
- 4 (0%)
- 5 (71%)
- 10 (0%)
- 20 (0%)
- 50 (0%)
- Only private sessions (0%)
Analysis:
Very strange result. I was expecting this to be level across the choices, but 5 came out the clear winner. I think I forgot to vote, so that didn't distort the results. I've done one photo shoot in my life and now people think I'll do 5 this year. Seems somewhat unlikely to me, but hey, this could be the start of a modeling career. Sadly it also seems as if the private shoot is going to be unlikely. Oh well, time to bait up and cast out again.
(Created on 12th January 2014)
Vote #337
Question:
OK, so I'm in my new digs. I'm absolutely shattered and have not completed the unpacking process, but we're functional. I know where my clothes are and there's bog roll in the toilet. I've even got a towel in the bathroom so I can shower. Whilst unpacking, I came across an item of Karen's that had found its way into one of the boxes. I've returned this mystery item to its rightful owner now, but can you work out what it was? What item of Karen's found its way into my new flat?
Results:
Bicycle seat was the clear winner with 50% of the votes from the following selection:
- Tampons (0%)
- Knickers (0%)
- Veet hair removal (17%)
- Vibrator (17%)
- Toilet plunger (17%)
- Bicycle seat (50%)
- Shower cap (0%)
Analysis:
Now come on, how would a bicycle seat have accidentally found its way into my apartment? It was a can of Veet hair removal. I couldn't help but laugh after having read all those online reviews, but I didn't put myself to the challenge. Instead, I returned the can to its rightful owner so she could once again remove her mustache and beard.
(Created on 19th January 2014)
Vote #338
Question:
Has it really only been a week that I've been back in the States. Wow! What a lot has happened in that time. I have so many urgent questions buzzing round my head right now, but they don't seem to matter as they will get answered in due course. I guess they can all be summed up into one big question - will 2014 be better than 2013?
Results:
Yes was the clear winner with 100% of the votes from the following selection:
- Yes (100%)
- No (0%)
Analysis:
A resounding yes makes me wonder whether or not many others had a bad 2013, but it's not about you, it's all about me and I do hope that this year goes somewhat more smoothly. It's off to a pretty rough start if I'm to be honest, but I do think we're moving down the right path now, so let's hope!
(Created on 26th January 2014)
Vote #339
Question:
Well, I'm down in Sunny Southern California, only to find that my beautiful harbor view from my hotel balcony was somewhat obscured by the fog when I got here. And it was like being on the road trip again. My first night was not a wall of train horns this time ... oh no, instead we had fog horns, which makes me wonder. In this day and age with radar and GPS technology, do we really need fog horns?
Results:
Yes was the clear winner with 67% of the votes from the following selection:
- Yes (67%)
- No (33%)
Analysis:
Hmmmm. Seems the majority of you are in favor of fog horns. Don't see it myself as I think ships should be able to figure out where problems are from their GPS. Not sure the horn itself really adds that much. Then again, I'm not a sailor, so I'm probably missing something.
(Created on 2nd February 2014)
Vote #340
Question:
An exhausting weekend of getting everything moved into my apartment after a week of travels. I returned from my trip to find that I had no less than 10 deliveries. Thankfully one of the girls on reception was very helpful in bringing my boxes of goodies up to my apartment. What did box factories do before Amazon?
Results:
Exist purely for school trips was the clear winner with 100% of the votes from the following selection:
- Make less boxes (0%)
- There were less box factories (0%)
- Make boxes for supermarkets (0%)
- Exist purely for school trips (100%)
Analysis:
Ah, the Simpsons. The wonderful trips the school gets to the box factory. I do wonder whether or not schools actually do trips to the box factory. Certainly something I never did in any of the schools I attended. Perhaps I'm missing out on something.